he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
