Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
