it was like his penis was on wheels.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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