do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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