had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize