i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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