What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
