lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
even my farts smell like vagina
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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