You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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