it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I am spending my child support on dildos
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
