why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
