Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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