how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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