Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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