One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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