there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
