you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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