what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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