Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Randomize
