my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Everclear isn't food dammit
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
