Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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