"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
