so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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