what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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