Where did you get a picture of my penis
I think my vagina is haunted
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
