Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
