ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
