maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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