how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
