i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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