So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
