if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
