Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
