We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
