i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize