If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
