how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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