Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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