No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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