I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
