Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
