I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
