For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
