They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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