it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
