he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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