I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
