If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
