i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
