Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
