Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
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