she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
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