GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I'm always down for nudity.
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