Jerry, you need to find god
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
