I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
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