just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize