I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Walk of Shame today included voting.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize