its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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