i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
