garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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