Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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