she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
